I personally take a lot of calls from guys who buy lingerie for themselves, far more male customers contact by telephone than women as they seem to like to talk about their cross-dressing as well as ask advice about sizing ect. Most callers are married, with children/grand-children and have been keeping their secret for years – it seems the majority would clearly like to be a bit more ‘open’ but have no-one they can really talk to so it can often be a lonely experience.
Apparently, the biggest problems cross-dressers face are: how to choose the right size for the male figure (which we have covered in a separate post – Suspender Belts for Men), how to pay without leaving ‘evidence’, and where to have it discreetly delivered.
Shining a Light on Ordering & Delivery
There are very few high street shops where men can buy lingerie for themselves without feeling, or being made to feel, more than a little awkward. However, ordering online can also present difficulties as many CD’s don’t want to take the chance of wives seeing the purchases on their bank or credit card statements, or having lingerie delivered to the house or office.
We have had many ‘cash on collection’ male wearing customers over the past few years, some driving over a 4 hour round trip to collect their lingerie and pay in cash, so the purpose of this post is to try and get some feedback in order to devise a solution that our cross-dresser customers who are not local enough to do this would be happy with.
Customers have asked to send cash through the post which is okay with us but far from ideal for the buyer as if it gets lost we cannot take responsibility for the loss.
We are hoping to sign a deal with a click and collect service which will be available soon which would solve the issue of discreet deliveries (provided there is an outlet locally), but we are still left with issues regarding payment for those who don’t want to leave a paper trail.
If anyone has any ideas about this, please do let us know.
Why do men Cross-Dress?
Because of the prejudice that exists around crossdressing, most people don’t have any first hand experience so assume that men cross dress for sexual pleasure, but in many cases it is just that cross-dressers feel comfortable rather than sexually aroused when they wear the clothing of the other sex.
There are of course those that dress up in women’s lingerie for sexual purposes although most are heterosexual, not gay or perverted. The inclination to crossdress is not something most men have control over, it is a just a component of their full identity that has probably been with them from a very young age.
Keeping secrets like this from their partners can be difficult and in itself stressful as most of us want to be accepted for who we are, not judged by what we choose to wear.
Take the example used on British soap Eastenders where undertaker Les Coker hid his cross-dressing alter-ego ‘Christine’ from wife Pam for many years and when it did come out she was horrified. Les attempted to explain it by saying ‘You know how stressed I get,’ I’m surrounded by grief all day. It gets to me. Sometimes I need not to be a man.’
Men like this don’t try to ‘pass’ as women, and just dress up to enjoy feeling feminine, removing the pressures of having to be the strong, competitive, assertive male and is far more common than most of us think.
The feelings of needing to cross-dress at certain times can be strong and compelling and many men do it without really knowing why.
We find the most popular lingerie styles for men are suspender belts (deep styles as these stay put on the waist better than the flimsy 4 strap ‘fashion’ belts), pantyhose/tights and stockings with corselettes/slips a close second, but purchases have also included girdles, waspies, bodystockings and even fishnet dresses. Style seems to have a lot to do with whether the wearer is a fetish and non-fetish crossdresser.
If any of you men would like to have their photos added to this article, please email us your images and we will be happy to include them.
Banish Cross-Dressing prejudice – understanding is a far healthier emotion than disgust, horror or shame.